Couriers and the Unknown…

Yesterday I took the plunge and tried to send a disposable camera to Katie’s foster family…since I foolishly forgot to include it with the CD (which still hasn’t arrived)!  Many families adopting from China do this – not my idea 😉  If you send a disposable camera, then the family or orphanage can take photos of your child in their home environment and the people who have been caring for her.  Then hopefully, they send along the camera with the baby so you will have these photos as a keep sake for when she’s older and has questions.  It can be invaluable!  So…another $150 later I sent it via Purolator since UPS has disappointed me and hopefully it will arrive in a few more days.   

  Right after I sent it,  I read some online information about the possibility of the children who are in foster care in Fengcheng being moved to the orphanage a few weeks before we get them.  I heard this move was a possibility but I didn’t realize it might be for as long as three weeks!   If it’s true, that would mean Katie has already left the comfort of her foster home and suffered the trauma of separation without me there to comfort her.  It breaks my heart.  It it’s true, she will have two traumatic separations instead of just one but the main one – leaving the only home she has known – is the worst .   I sent along a small gift, photos, my contact information and translated letters for the foster mother in both packages but I have no idea if anything will reach their home.

We are completely dependant on a man who works at the orphanage to arrange for our group’s packages to get to our children and the foster families.  I can only hope that he understands how much love and effort has gone into these items and that our babies are being comforted and loved!  

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9 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Liz Spooner
    Feb 17, 2013 @ 04:35:14

    Risa,
    Catherine saw on rumor queen that a Riza got her referral for her daughter and did I think the girl we had dinner with at the Manderin had the name Riza?
    I told her yes, that was just before I was to travel ti Inner Mongolia to get my daughter Ava. I believe I had her referral pic with me.
    I remember you sent me a gift of the Chinese character for Family.
    Congratulations on such wonderful news! Katie is just precious!
    You’ll have to join our waiting moms group , we meet for dinner every three months now.
    Catherine is the owner of that yahoo group.
    Again, congratulations and look forward to seeing you both if you decide to join,

    Reply

    • risajw
      Feb 24, 2013 @ 01:12:29

      HI Liz,
      Thanks so much – wow, you have a good memory! Who was it, at that dinner, that gave us all the gift bags? Was that you or Catherine? It sure feels good to actually get to pack that little onsie! Yes, it would be great to join you all for a dinner 🙂
      All the best!
      Risa

      Reply

      • Liz
        Feb 25, 2013 @ 04:41:28

        Yes I did have gift bags, I think there was a onsie with a lady bug on it, a small pig as it was the year of the pig, but can’t remember what else was in there! I believe Catherine had ladybug mugs for everyone.
        Looking forward to seeing you both at one of the dinners!
        Liz

  2. Lynda
    Feb 18, 2013 @ 15:03:15

    This is often the method of operation in preparation for your arrival. No matter what it does create anxiety in the child, but time with you will bring healing. So sorry to hear you went to such an extra expense and possibly for nothing. We did the camera with our last adoption along with a care package sent to her orphanage. Though most pictures were staged it was great since she is older to have the photos of her there and with other kids she had been with so long. Wishing you the very best as you embark on this life changing journey. As with so many things in life it has it’s challenges, but the rewards for you and your daughter are incredilble. All the best.

    Reply

  3. Patience
    Feb 18, 2013 @ 22:35:08

    We brought home our Fengcheng daughter in July 2008. She had been fostered since day one (literally). She is bonny and beautiful and very well attached to us. It was clear she had been well loved in her first year. Last summer we made our first homeland visit and had a lovely day at Fengcheng SWI, meeting the director, re-meeting Mr Wang – who delivered our baby to us and most importantly, meeting the Foster Mum who had cared for our precious girl that first year. They do seem to both care and understand. I was touched by how tenderly Mr Wang held our daughter and attended to her in the minutes before he was allowed to hand her to me.
    Good luck with everything and may this amazing part of your journey pass smoothly.
    Patience.

    Reply

  4. Karen
    Feb 20, 2013 @ 14:04:31

    If the orphanage director catches on that you intend to give them your contact information, most likely, the foster family will not receive the contact information. They tend to want complete separation. Our daughter was taken care of by an orphanage run by Half the Sky, and we were unable to give the nanny any info about us. a year later, we asked HTS to contact the nanny for us with a translated letter, and we were told (through HTS) that the nanny had left the orphanage without any information. Several other families were told the same about their nannies. It’s also a high possibility that the foster family is a relative family (bio grandparents, perhaps) who volunteer to watch the child in foster care, in hopes of the child not being adopted. I know of a couple of families who found this to be the case, some by contact and some because the child looks conspicuously like one of the family teen girls in the pictures they receive, and that person happened to be extremely attached to the child. And yes, they are normally taken to the orphanage a couple of weeks prior to Gotcha Day. Mostly to fatten up the baby and make sure she gets as healthy as possible. I have never considered the separation anxiety it might cause because our daughter was cared for by one nanny within the orphanage the entire 17 months. If it’s any consolation, I have also heard that the children taken to the orphanage are often spoiled for those few weeks.

    Reply

  5. Karen
    Feb 20, 2013 @ 14:26:55

    I also want to add, that I, at first, was relieved that our daughter had no other family, I considered it a fresh start for all of us. But as she gets older, I would consider it such a blessing for her to be able to link up with her nanny or a foster family. If you cant contact the foster family now, keep trying for your daughter later.

    Reply

    • risajw
      Feb 21, 2013 @ 01:00:28

      Thanks for all the info Karen! Especially the link to the song. I had found it online before but this is better and more complete. I inquired some time ago about whether or not the foster family had a CD player. I was told that was the best format to send…but who knows. It seems like at this point it doesn’t matter. Hopefully the one in the orphanage does…if the Cd ever gets there.

      Reply

  6. Debbie Sauer
    Feb 24, 2013 @ 22:08:09

    Have you tried Ann at Red threads? She is very good and always gets results.

    Reply

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