Breakfast with Special K

We have been home for 2 weeks as of tonight and this is the first chance I’ve had to write.  I’ve been so wanting to document this homecoming and have been blogging in my head but it’s been a huge adjustment for all of us, with very little sleep and no unoccupied time:-)  There is so much to just stop and enjoy and lots to figure out for the first time.   SK has been really struggling with jet lag, teething and had a small cold. We recently decided that SK should stand for “Sleepless Katie”.  I just realized last night that some of what we’re experiencing with her through the night are the ‘night terrors’ I’d read about some time ago – different from nightmares and common in children adopted as Katie was. Intense crying but still asleep.  Not sure how long she may experience these but apparently they happen in a different part of the brain than nightmares and she won’t remember the feeling in the morning.  Last night was a rough one so I’m glad to understand a bit more of what’s happening and how to handle it.  I’m just now beginning to feel a bit more rested but it has been a little like having a newborn…so much for the 12 hours straight we were getting from her in China.

We have been together, SK and I, for just almost 4 weeks. Coming home to Toronto was so wonderful for me but incredibly stressful for Katie. Our flight was very good overall but landing and getting that bloody car seat, SK and our bags out the door was no small feat. Big thanks to Jeff who hauled both car seats from the plane all the way to where we picked up a porter to help us (felt like miles).   We also had to go to Immigration where Katie officially became a Permanent Resident….yay! More paperwork ahead now to get her Citizenship.

I have travelled a lot and quite far away but never been happier to land in Toronto. Tim and my Dad were waiting for us on the other side and it was so exciting to come through those doors with Katie in my arms and see them waving…Still makes me teary. Katie was getting fussy in the Beco by that point and she completely freaked out once Tim leaned in to hug me. From then on it was mostly screaming as we managed to get bags in the car, her into the car seat (pure torture) right up until she fell asleep a few minutes before we got home. There was no way to get her in the house without her waking up so the screaming continued. Another new place, another new face (Tim) and also Greta…Tim’s bulldog. Katie actually thought she was pretty great and they have formed a beautiful friendship ever since   There was a big sign in the living room that said “Welcome Home Risa and Katie” a big “Welcome Home” balloon, beautiful flowers and a card.  Sweet!

Katie’s early relationship with Tim was a bit challenging. We realized that in foster care Katie didn’t have a mom and dad, she had a mom and a grandfather. We firmly believe that she can sense the difference in our kind of relationship and felt that Tim could get in the way of her bond with me. In one way this is good news because it emphasized that there is in fact a strong bond forming between Katie and me.  However, she wouldn’t let Tim near her that night.  What a tough thing for Tim, who has been anxiously waiting and preparing for us to come home. But he is so patient and understanding, he knows it’s only a matter of time before she accepts him. More on that later…

We quickly made up the crib with her sheets from the hotel and did whatever we could to calm her down. All I could do was hold her close and lie on the bed with her where she finally fell asleep on top of me. I was starving so Tim made me the most amazing grilled cheese sandwich ever and we ate on the bed so I didn’t have to move. What a surreal feeling to suddenly be back in my room with the crib we’d set up and the decorations I’d put up imagining SK and now she’s here, breathing and sweaty in my arms!  And the three of us suddenly a family:-)

The night was really rough. Katie was experiencing so much distress once she woke up that I eventually gave her a bit of gravol as the doctor had suggested. I didn’t want to have to do it but after everything she’d been through on the long trip and now another new place there was no reason for her to go through much physical and emotional distress. I really don’t remember much about at night a this point.  I was so exhausted and so grateful to be home safe and sound with Tim.  Katie finally slept and had a good long sleep well into the next morning.

Highs and lows of our first 2 weeks home…

1. Watching Katie take her time, assess her new situation and begin to be comfortable. She wouldn’t walk or crawl around for about 3 days but then slowly decided it was ok to explore and very soon has made us glad we did all the baby proofing before I left. She is into everything! She’s back to playing with toys both familiar (stacking cups and bath toys) and new ones (drums, shaky eggs, puzzle pieces). To our surprise, we learned she knows how to climb the stairs!  She thinks she’s pretty hilarious when she does it.

2. Her reaction when my parents come over.  She is so attached to my mom and because we Skyped with my dad so many times when we were away, she has taken to him very quickly. Lots of laughs and smiles but it was good to take things slowly which my dad did beautifully. After a bath one day they had about an hour of playtime on the bed and my parents just wanted to eat her up…such joy! Wow.  Katie gave my dad kisses and grabbed his finger  Dad was in heaven. I know it’s hard for my mom not to see her every day after our time together in China. Each visit got more and more smiles and yesterday we finally went to their house for the first time.  SK could see my mom at the door and was grinning from ear to ear from her car seat.  She was very comfortable exploring and playing with new toys and met some new friends.  Really fun!

3. Watching her try new foods! Tim had the kitchen fully stocked when we got home and it was also Passover. Turns out SK will have no trouble being Jewish. She loves chicken soup, matzoh balls, gefilte fish and carrot tzimmis (sp?). Apple sauce rocks and her most favourite new snack are the soft little balls of buffalo mozzarella! She also loves our favourite broccoli quiche, the same quiche that we gave to little Timber (my 14 yr old dog who passed away last Oct) when he couldn’t eat regular food anymore. What a shame that Katie will never get to meet Timber but truthfully, Timber would not have been as patient as Greta…he never liked kids much. Anyway, ironically I am deeply grateful to that quiche once again!  What a great feeling to finally have all the food right here and to know exactly what we’re feeding Katie!

4. Doctors appointment for Katie.  We managed to walk there on time and look presentable!  She did beautifully, no tears until the blood was drawn. Oh dear.  So hard for us all but she recovered like a champ and now it’s done. Whew! Lots of tests need to be done for children who are adopted from China so we can get a baseline for everything and double-check tests that were done back when she was 8 months.  This was also our first encounter with an inappropriate outsider in the doctor’s office.  Very “in your face” who thought she knew a lot about adoption in China and wanted us to know about it too.  She hung around far too long.  Afterwards we stopped for her first sushi lunch:-).  She tried everything and didn’t squawk too much.  Glad the restaurant was mostly empty since she can be such a vocal eater:-).

5. My first walk down Yonge street with SK in the Beco. Kept checking myself out in the store windows to see how I looked…reality check…yup, that’s really me carrying a baby!!

6. My first day alone with SK was very stressful just because I hadn’t figured out to do anything on my own yet and she was really needing to be held all the time. Thank goodness for the Beco. I was grateful that our friend Alana came over with her little boy Cameron (her first buddy). Katie thought he was pretty terrific. Alana lent us a stroller for a while (enormously  helpful until we got our own today) along with some things to help keep Katie warm on our walks. I thought we were coming home to Spring…oh we’ll. Researching strollers is like buying a car…honestly!  Glad that’s done.  While stroller shopping at Toys R Us, Katie strolled around on her own two feet and people were so amused by how cute she looked…me too!

7.  We took in the disposable camera to get delivered.  The one I sent to the foster orphanage to forward to Katie’s foster home so we could hopefully get photos of where she lived and who took care of her.  I was incredibly thrilled to get the camera back when we got Katie but once we developed the photos we realized that the camera was never sent to the foster home.  It looks like the photos are from the day her foster mom brought her to the orphanage in FengCheng to be brought to us in Nanchang.  We did get some photos of her foster mom but none of where she lived just several of Katie playing outside that day.  We will treasure all of them but considering all that it took to get the camera there and the amazing fact that it made it,  I’m disappointed that we won’t have more details to share with Katie later on.

8. By far, the most fascinating and rewarding thing to observe has been the beautiful growth of her relationship with Tim. At first she wouldn’t look him in the eye but would only watch him when he wasn’t looking. Then she would cast him a little glance under her lashes after he’s handed her a much desired piece of banana. Slowly, slowly she began to engage with him. The firsts big step was our sleepless evening having potato chips on the couch… I know, not exactly appropriate baby food but the chips worked some magic and before we knew it, Tim was feeding little pieces to Katie and she was feeding them back to Tim! He managed to get a few smiles here and there but she was very selective with her responses. No question, food has been the key to bring the two of them together.  She will let him give her a bottle if I am holding her and occasionally I can sneak off for a shower if he’s feeding her breakfast…but not always. Our most fun sleepless night was when we accepted that there wouldn’t be sleeping for quite a while so we all watched Modern Family. SK was wide awake and engaging both of us to play.   She laughed when we laughed at the tv and had full “conversations” with us in her cute, funny sounds.  She knows the “Clap Your Hands” song and when she started to clap we’d start singing and stop when she stopped and keep going when she did. She thought we were all hilarious and I was laughing so hard I was crying. Can you say exhausted?  Katie is really coming around to Tim and we feel like such a family.  Some of our cuddle time when she’ll reach out to him or snuggle up to him when she sort of forgets herself just melts my heart (and his).  She has slowly started to touch his face, she has allowed him to touch her, she’ll snuggle with us all together and will lean into him for some repeated silliness she’s enjoying.  She laughs like crazy when he pretends to chase her.  Tim is a stellar new dad!  I’m deeply grateful that he has the patience, instincts, intuition, humour, gentleness, generosity and huge heart that make up who he is and why I love him.  He is an integral part of why I have been able to carry through with this long process and adopt our girl. When he is done with his MFA this year we’ll be able to make a home together and start a more stable like with SK but until then his support of us both has been an indescribable blessing.  One day very soon, Katie will voluntarily give him a hug and turn to him when she is upset…and he will be there when she’s ready.

Finally asleep at home.

Snuggling with Bibi and holding Grampy’s finger.

Katie’s foster Mom.

Saying Goodbye to Beijing

We are home. All is well. Taking time to get adjusted…more soon. Here’s the post from yesterday…

I’m sitting on the airplane, finally on our way home. I can’t believe we made it on the plane with everything and SK is sleeping peacefully next to me in her Cadillac of car seats. What a relief!

We had a pretty good night’s sleep. SK’s tummy is a bit better. We had our morning cereal and Skype time with my Dad and with Tim. Katie ended up having a bath on her own (me not in the tub with her) which she loved. We went up for our last buffet breakfast (we call it Katie’s 2nd breakfast). She sucked back a huge cup of yogurt through a straw, her latest fave. The staff have been so accommodating with the babies!

We got to the last details of packing…turns out I had a lot of space left in my suitcases. Didn’t really do much shopping. After reading online about other people’s adoption experiences here, I am now so curious about when they managed to do all this shopping I’ve heard about?! I wish I’d brought more clothes for Katie…poor thing is in the same 2 outfits in every photo. A third of what I brought was too small and a third was too big which left next to nothing but we weren’t really finding ourselves anywhere with time to shop or clothes we would want to buy. They other moms agree with this too. I can’t wait to get Katie into some new clothes. The sweater she has worn most often is one that I bought for her when I was travelling in Peru in 2007. Took a guess at the size and it’s been perfect…and so cute, but enough already! Since the weather was much cooler than we expected she really didn’t have enough warm things for her legs. I’m sure her suffering will end very soon

The red blanket that I knit has definitely come in handy and I’m thrilled we have pictures of it wrapped around Katie. The first and only thing I allowed myself to buy once the adoption process was underway was a beautiful book I’d found at a little store on Bayview called “The Red Blanket”. It is a children’s book about a mom (single) with a little dog who goes to China to bring home her baby and takes along a red blanket. It’s a sweet story with lovely illustrations and of course at the time, that was our story. When I was doing Sweet Charity in Calgary in 2007 one of the guys in our cast taught me how to knit (thanks MLo) and after my initial scarf, the blanket was my next project. When Katie gets a little older and we read the story it will require a little editing but I’m glad she will know she has a red blanket too, knit with love while her mom was out of town kicking up her heels in a show (maybe that will make me cool!).

So, I’ve been feeling a bit lousy and my patience has been extremely thin (not with Katie, just the frustrations of living in a hotel in a foreign country). Men, you may skip this next part….
Got my period several days early….great. Certainly explains my grumpiness. Brought nothing with me… So, off I went to the Wu Mart (not to be confused with Walmart) up the street where we had bought diapers. Fortunately found something recognizable and got SK a banana but not without a great deal of frustration with the checkout line. Was really tired and needed some energy to lug SK and luggage around in the airport today so I caved and got fries at McDonalds. They were awesome! I was reprimanded for taking a photo of the menu though. Part of my outing was to grab some last minute gifts and souvenirs. I didn’t have much time because i had to get back and get out luggage ready for pick up. Mom stayed in the room with a sleeping SK.

I discovered an “underground market” literally…right below the Wu Mart and McDonalds. It was a huge maze of tiny stalls with people selling everything from jewelry to housewares, clothing, bags, lingerie, etc. You could even get a manicure. It was clear that this was where locals shopped, not tourists. No one hassled me at all. I bought a small present for my dad. I could have had a blast there but didn’t have time to fully explore it. So, the whole time we’ve been in Beijing there has been this great market only 3 minutes away but we had no idea and were out of time

Luggage made it out the door on time and we checked out at 2:30, gathered in the lobby and got on the bus for the airport. One last Bus Cuddle! Jeff and Helen with little Lisa Molly bought all the girls a baby panda backpack Check-in was frustrating. They couldn’t find Katie’s reservation. Then they found it but wanted to see her immigration document that I was to present when we land in Canada despite the fact that there is now a valid Canadian Visa in her Chinese passport. I didn’t think I needed that document until we landed so I had to dig into a packed up bag and my grumpiness and weariness grew. All was settled though and we moved on to the next challenge of getting through security. We had to leave our luggage carts behind at a certain point and then travel down and up escalators and on a train before we even got to the security gate. We said a teary goodbye to Sara at that point and mom and I figured out how we were going to continue with Katie hanging off my front, a rolling carryon suitcase, Mom’s bag and the very heavy and awkward car seat. My plan was to balance it on the rolling suitcase and roll it which miraculously worked but it was very precarious! And we had a long way to go. On the train, a lovely Chinese man asked if I would like his seat…a nice way to end our time here since we found very little chivalry up until now. If I thought I felt like a pack horse last time we travelled, this was a whole new level of schlepping!

We finally made it to security and they kindly ushered us to a special services line which was nice but it was still incredibly difficult to take everything off, including Katie, get everything on the belt, including the car seat and put it all back together at the other end. Mom and I were an excellent team! The saving grace at the end of it all was that the Beijing airport has little carts you can use on the other side while you’re waiting for your flight…unlike some other airports I know! The group grabbed seats and enjoyed a nice couple of hours having Starbucks, feeding babies, changing diapers, etc). Our flight was delayed by an hour so we could do a little last minute shopping too.
The last stretch…leave the little cart and the gate and get everything on the plane! Priority boarding helped a lot…a quieter plane and room to move helped a lot. The balanced load didn’t make it down the ramp without a tumble but then we manoeuvred it down the narrow isle to our seat. A huge thank you to Jim who figured out how to attach the seat. I didn’t do enough prep to know how everything worked but he saved the day. The flight attendants were helpful too and very sweet.

We had some tears getting settled because SK had fallen asleep just before we boarded and got woken up but by the time we took off she was laughing hysterically at the bumpiness of the plane rolling down the runway. She sat with me and played with the blankets in the plastic bags, chomped on a teething biscuit had a grand time. Once our first meal came out, we took that opportunity to put her in the car seat for the first time and since we were feeding her, she was just fine with the whole thing. She was SOOO tired but couldn’t settle so we shamelessly turned on her little tv, brought out the top she likes to chew on and out she went but not before grabbing Bibi’s finger to help her fall asleep.

Heading home!!!

No time to write about yesterday (it was fantastic) but will probably find some time on the 13 hour flight!
Leaving the hotel shortly and then off to the airport. Woohooo!!!
We are thrilled to be heading home with our Special K!!
Will send final updates when we’ve landed safe and sound in Toronto!!
R. xo

Music Together in Beijing

From Friday, March 22nd..

Katie just woke up. She is in her pack and play amusing us with funny sounds and her sweet laugh I just want to eat her up in the morning! Yesterday was Mom’s Birthday!! March 21st. I had bought mom a little glass tea pot she had admired in the market the other day and had the Chinese word for Grandmother written on the inside. Cindy had left a card for her and we Skyped with Zane and Cindy and Tyler later in the day for BD singing

Our only scheduled activity today was to attend a 10am Music Together class. This is the program that I teach in Toronto, it is international so as soon as I knew when we were going to be in Beijing I contacted the centre here to see if we could join in on a class. Chloe and Michelle who run the Micho Education Centre were so sweet, welcoming and accommodating. Mom and I took a cab, to this lovely neighbourhood and the class was in the basement of a gorgeous condo. We met a mom from L.A. with her baby on the way in so she helped us find the room. While we were waiting for them to let us in, we chatted with a few “ex-pat”moms (foreigners living in China for work) and they were completely in shock that we were running around visiting all these tourist sites with the babies!

We had no idea what to expect from Katie once the class started. She had never experienced this kind of group dynamic…and it was her nap time. There were about 12 families, half Chinese, half ex-pat (U.S., France, Germany). Michelle taught the class and Chloe so kindly took videos and photos for me after introducing us and asking permission of the families. We thought this would be a very special opportunity to share this “international” experience with our MT families in Toronto so I was grateful that no one minded. Since Chloe wasn’t teaching or participating with a child, it wasn’t disruptive at all.

I have taught hundreds and hundreds of classes after 10 years of running Making Music Together and sung the names of more children in the Hello Song than I could possibly count. There’s no way to describe the deep comfort and surreal joy of singing “Hello to Katie” as a mom in a circle of moms, with Katie in my lap and see her immediate response and connection. I’m still getting teary about it. Katie has only been with me for 11 days. She does not understand English (all songs were in English), she has never been to this place or seen these people and she has only heard one of the songs before… but the power of making music as a group is universal. I have never seen more proof of that than I did watching her reaction to this class. She responded the same way as the children born and raised in North Toronto. She smiled, she moved her body, she observed carefully, she was very much “with me” during most of it but comfortable to go off and explore a little. She connected with other children (ok, took their instruments and was in awe of things she’d never seen like the parachute with balls rolling on top. Mostly, there was pure joy and contentment! I had offered to lead a song so that their families could also experience the “international” nature of the program…that someone from so far away was singing the same songs that they were. So, I led the second song in the class (Sneak and Peek) and Katie was happy on my lap while I did it. The amazing thing is that Katie had never heard that song before and later that afternoon I put on the recording of that collection and when Sneak and Peek came on she laughed like crazy! She also had never heard the Hello song before the class and as soon as it started on the recording she stopped, listened and then started moving her body! Of course I got it on video and will eventually post it on Facebook The immediate recognition and musical memory was astonishing. This proves to me again, what I always tell our families…that the live, interactive experience is what makes the deep musical impression. Now that Katie had a live experience with these specific songs, they clearly mean something to her. She will of course become the poster child for Making Music Together

I was so focused on SK for most of the class but tried to also put on my teacher hat and observe the teaching and families. It was such a lovely group and Michelle did a beautiful class. Aside from a few small differences, it’s amazing how consistent the structure and tone of the class was…and I’m totally stealing some of their wonderful, creative ideas. It was exciting for me to lead a song with some families who don’t speak English and experience first hand how they were totally with me and getting the musical “play” and fun of the song….did I mention music is universal? My mom had a great time…she has been to many of my classes so she was totally comfortable and SK kept checking in with her too Underlying all the joy, there was also a little current of recognition running through me that what I’ve worked so hard to learn and build at home has been such a huge part of what has brought me to Katie and landed me there here in China in that class.
I cherished every moment of this first class with Katie…I know there will be SO many more classes in our future but this first one, in China, will always be an incredible memory I am so grateful for.

We went out for lunch with Michelle and Chloe to a delicious restaurant and chatted about teaching MT and the challenges of running the business. SK did well at lunch because we found the most awesome, yummy soup for her (vegetable dumpling)! Then she crashed in the carrier while the ladies took us to a convenience store, Jenny Lou’s, that carries a lot of International food. We found avocados!!! If we’d known about this store when we first arrived in Beijing it would have been worth the $4 cab ride to get there and buy a few comfort foods (like peanut butter). We would have been in heaven since food was such a struggle for so long. We bought some more biscuits for SK and 2 avocados then got in a cab back to the hotel.

We had some quiet time and got started on a little packing. Katie had some excellent play time and then had another nap which was great because we were aiming to have group dinner with everyone since it was our last night. I had a short nap too…so tired.

Sara made arrangements a fantastic Hot Pot restaurant where they had a private room for us. They bring a whole bunch of different items to the table and you select what you want and put them into a communal pot of boiling broth (half was tomato broth and half was seafood broth). We cooked potatoes, mushrooms, meat (not me of course), greens, tofu….it was different and fun…and tasty. Since it was Mom’s BD that night and Ava’s birthday the next day, Ava’s parents brought a cake. A bear cake. So cute! Sara gave mom a little Cloisinee vase and gave all of the babies traditional Mind dynasty head pieces. How very generous of her! We presented her with gifts from Canada to thank her for her being so wonderful through this challenging process. We are so lucky to have her! We toasted to a safe trip home and ate yummy bear cake.

It was a nice night so Mom and I walked a bit farther on our “strip” that we know so well now and bought 2 Chinese lanterns and a fan for Ava’s birthday the next day. Packed until quite late and finally called it a night. Our last sleep in Beijing. Tomorrow we’re on our way home!

Snow Balls and Car Seats

Oh dear. Falling behind. This is from yesterday – Wed, Mar. 20th..

Woke up to a snow covered Beijing this morning!! Couldn’t believe it. We bundled up for our outing to Tianeman Square and the Forbidden City. Katie had a lovely morning but her tummy is still upset. I have been fighting a cold and although I slept pretty well, I didn’t feel great.
We rode through a very modern part of Beijing that reminded me of New York. Sort of Madison Avenue. Many surprisingly huge buildings. There were tons of tourists (many Chinese) at the site. The sun was shining and Katie was bundled in her stroller with a couple more layers than yesterday and a really ugly blanket that the hotel had given us in an effort to keep her warm.

Tianeman Square was the first stop. It is a bizarre feeling to be at the site of such violence and see absolutely no recognition of any event having taken place. The whole world witnessed the student massacre in 1989 but no one will talk about it here. There is no monument, no memorial, nothing written to acknowledge that it ever took place.

The Forbidden City was jammed with tourists and I found it very hard to enjoy the whole experience… I guess because I wasn’t feeling my best and it was quite cold. The stroller was difficult to manage in places and it was hard to keep Katie covered up. I wanted to take photos but I didn’t want to lose sight of our group for a second with the crowds so dense. Even in such a tourist destination, where foreigners come every day, we were still such an oddity! People staring and taking photos. People will walk right up to Ava (Jim & Carrie’s 8 yr old daughter), put their arm around her while their friend takes their picture…without even asking. It’s an interesting experience to be observed this way. Many people have been lovely and smiley when they see the babies but with such crowds, the rude people were making me grumpy.

The Forbidden City is a place of incredible beauty and it’s HUGE! It has 9, 999 rooms!

The roof tops of most structures are the traditional ones you’ve seen…they look like bamboo chutes and served as perfect funnels for the snow that had fallen the night before and was now menlting rapidly in the sun. Just as I was pushing the stroller up a very steep and slippery ramp, Katie and I got smacked with a couple of big, wet snow balls right on the head!!! She thought it was kind of funny. We were both soaked! I picked huge chunks of snow from around her little body and then discovered later that she was sitting on another pile that had slid down her back.

After about an hour and a half we made our way out the far end of the Forbidden City. Vendors were selling steaming corn on the cob, cooked sweet potatoes and sticks of strawberries on the back of carts and bikes. It looks so good but we’ve been a little nervous to eat anything on the street. We got back onto the bus for a short stop at the Silk Factory. Saw a demo of how silk is produced…very cool and the silk bed quilts were amazing. We didn’t buy anything in the store. Really couldn’t think straight anymore but the item were beautiful!

When we got back to the hotel Mom ordered some room service and ate it in the bathroom so Katie wouldn’t see it We’d given her some cereal and wanted to keep her diet plain. She fell asleep after some play time and I went out with Sara at 4pm to go looking for a car seat.

Ah, the car seat saga! So we brought a car seat to the airport in Toronto because when we flew back with Katie she needed one for her seat (we got her an actual ticket/seat on the flight back). A/C info says that car seats are one of the items that can be checked free of charge. When we got there the woman at check-in insisted on charging us $70 in addition to the $70 it cost for the 2nd suitcase we needed to bring. Not that long ago you were allowed 2 checked bags if it was an overseas flight but not any more. There was no way I could do this trip without packing a bag for Katie so I was prepared to pay for the bag but not the car seat. I had read all the baggage details and flight regulations with an infant very carefully so I was really annoyed since it wasn’t stated anywhere that i had to have the child with me for it to be free. Why would I be checking the car seat if she was with me?! The fact that I was adopting a baby who was, of course, not with me yet, was irrelevant. If I wasn’t flying with an infant then I would have to pay for the car seat. It really made no logical sense and we were clearly not going to appeal to her humanitarian side. We had asked Jim to check if the Walmart in Nanchang sold car seats and I thought he said they did so we decided to send the car seat home with dad and planned on buying one here rather than pay to lug it all the way to Beijing. In the moment it made sense but it was not a smart move. No one uses car seats in China…so no one sells them. Walmart didn’t carry them and we had no idea where to go in Beijing. A/C is very strict about a child under 2 using a car seat if they are flying and it is supposed to be marked as approved for Canadian vehicle use. The woman at A/C said “oh they never check”. Well, we’ll see. I’ve now managed to purchase a car seat made in the Netherlands at the one department store in Beijing that carries them. We discovered this thanks to Sara’s research and once again, her daughter Kimberly who actually went to the store in advance and made sure they had them before we went. What an angel. So, at 4pm Sara and I took a cab to this gorgeous department store and I bought last years model at a large discount…but it still cost at least twice what I should have paid to bring my own. Sigh.

Cabs are extremely cheap in Beijing. A 20 minutes ride is about $4!!

Katie was asleep when I left and when she got up we all went out for a little walk to get some air.
I didn’t feel like eating dinner so we called it a night. Really trying to fight this cold! I can’t wait for my soft bed. This hotel is strange…things like glasses and dirty cups don’t get replaced and it seems impossible to get an extra towel. Today they did “turn down” service on both of our beds but left only one chocolate. There isn’t a day that has gone by (at either hotel actually) where we don’t get a phone call or knock on our door that is a mistake.

The Palace of Brown Snow

Short blog…Its 7:30pm and I’m going to bed. Not feeling well. Just took some gravol and hope to get a decent night’s sleep. How ironic that Katie sleeps through the night but I don’t.

Today we went to the Summer Palace. If it were Summer this would have been absolutely beautiful but as it turns out, today was very cold and it actually snowed. None of us knew it was going to be so cold today so we didn’t dress appropriately and the babies weren’t in enough layers either. I brought several things in case we hit cold weather but wasn’t wearing any of them. We were all freezing and trying to make the best of it. The palace is impressive but we just wanted to get some photos and keep going. We walked around a lake and through some beautifully detailed wood structures and hiked up a tall tower to see a statue of a Buddah – I did it with Katie in the carrier and it warmed me up a little but most of the time she was bundled in the stroller with her red blanket. As soon as we got there it started to snow and although it was cold we thought wow, it’s so pretty. Then we realized that the snow was actually brown… from the pollution. It covered our shoes, coats, jackets with was looked like little spots of dirt. The cars looked like they had been sprayed with mud but no, it was just the snow.

We heading to a restaurant for a nice lunch. I ate a bit. Katie did well. Her stomach was still upset this morning but i think it’s ok now. We kept her diet very bland today. She reached out for her Bibi at one point and gave her a big snuggle…Mom was in heaven We were supposed to go to the Silk Factory next but it was already 3pm and we were all so cold and tired that we opted to head back to the hotel. On the way, we got a good look at the Bird’s Nest stadium that was built for the Olympics. It’s so much more impressive in person!! I took a really hot bath when we got back but it took a long time for me to warm up.

We had some fantastic play with SK today – she has figured out how to take each cup out of the nesting stacking cups before throwing each one into the tub She was playing a game with Bibi, teasing her by coming close with an item then going off the other way and laughing like crazy.
Very happy and content to play with us….it is SO joyful! Every time she laughs it just seems like such a miracle. More fun sounds together and napping on the bus;-)

She’s sound asleep again – tonight by 5pm. She really didn’t sleep much and it was a long day for her. Mom is great. She was also much too cold today but is feeling much better than she was a couple of days ago. I don’t know where she gets her energy and patience!

Tomorrow is our last day of touring. We will have Katie’s visa by the afternoon. We are supposed to go to the Forbidden City, Imperial Palace and Tiananmen Square. We’ll see how everyone is feeling

A trip to the Doctor

I hardly slept last night..don’t know why. The beds here are extremely HARD!! Several degrees past “firm. I think it’s starting to get to me We also had a lot of strong winds last night so I kept getting up to adjust the windows. Our room gets strangely warm. We’ve learned a couple fo things.. a) never trust anything in the weather forecast at all and b) there are no thermostats anywhere that do what they are supposed to. Selecting Heat or Cool, high or low means nothing or does the opposite of what you’d expect. Fortunately we can open the windows in the hotel but there’s a lot of honking through the night and I was worried that SK would get cold since she’s closest to the window and refuses to sleep in one position under a blanket.

The winds were actually productive and blew all of the smog away! Today felt like a veil had been lifted and we were back to Technicolor. The sky was actually blue! The air smelled great although it was quite cold. If we’d gone to the Great Wall today we would have had much better views – yesterday was warm and sunny but there was still that haze hanging over everything.

Our day started very early, meeting at 8:15am but since I didn’t sleep it was no problem getting up at 6:30. Katie had another excellent sleep but is still having some nasty stomach trouble that continued through the day. Fortunately our appointment this morning was with the doctor at the International Medical Clinic. This is necessary for her to obtain her visa to Canada.

The clinic was gorgeous, spotless, modern and felt like home. The doctors are Western trained. We hung out in small, immaculate children’s are with toys and books. Did some more paperwork (of course) and Katie was first up. She was not her usually happy self this morning, very quiet and clingy so when we had to remove all her clothes so she could be weighed and measured she was NOT a happy camper.

So it turns out the weight and height updates we were given back in December were somewhat embellished for all 3 babies…at the time they said Katie was 8.8kg but now she weighed exactly 8kg. We even weighed her twice (poor thing) because I was sure it was incorrect. Nope, 8kg on the nose. Her height is now 72cm and she was 70 back in December so I guess that’s ok. She is not quite as long as the other 2 babies (& one is 2 months younger) but she weighs a bit more. That being said, the doctor wants her to gain more weight. She feels that Katie will be a good size (judging by the size of her head…she does have a big noggin’ but right now she is in the 10th percentile for height and just under the 10th percentile for weight. This is based on the Western charts, not the Asian charts.

The doctor was thrilled with Katie’s progress so far. She said she sees no delays at all (which we knew) and that it was wonderful that she was being comforted by me (allowing it) and that she makes great eye contact and is so strong physically…walking, imitating, good dexterity, etc. She has some very sensitive skin (like her mom) so we have to cut back on the soap and kick up the moisture. The scratches on her legs should heal up fine and her Mongolian Blue spots will definitely disappear as she gets older. Apparently it will take about a month until Katie starts to understand that food will always be there for her and she doesn’t have to eat constantly but in the meantime we should give her food if she wants it, just stay away from sugary snacks. Need to find more protein and fat to help her feel more full – I would kill for an avocado right now! Haven’t seen them anywhere. She suggested yogurt which we’ve seen a lot of here – it surprised me. Most of it is liquid and served with a straw. We have to cut back on her fruit to help settle her stomach and get a bit more adventurous with the buffet tomorrow

I was feeling very emotional at the clinic…I felt such relief that Katie was doing great although I absolutely knew that she was. Couldn’t help crying in the doctor’s office (Mom too) because Dr. Chen was so happy for us and said there was nothing to worry about, just enjoy her! I carried this feeling around all afternoon – like something released in me that I didn’t know I was holding onto.

After the clinic we went to a charming tea shop where they did a demonstration and tasting for us of the tea produced in China. It was interesting and fun…just our group in a pretty room and even Katie enjoyed some tea. We bought a few of the ones we tasted…especially liked the Lichee tea and a special fruit tea (which I normally don’t enjoy but it was amazing). We were back at the hotel by noon.

Mom and I had a beautiful afternoon walking in the sunshine with SK in the stroller (sort of sleeping) and having a delicious meal at local restaurant with Sara. She took us there and helped us order…made all the difference. We’re going back tomorrow, it was so yummy. It also has a non-smoking section which is great except that as we were leaving there was a man sitting right under the No-Smoking sign..you guessed it…smoking! We passed this guy who had set up shop on the sidewalk with a special sewing machine just for shoes. Random people would walk up and have him fix their sole or something…very cool.

We needed diapers so tried at the local supermarket but the selection was awful. I now have a bag of 50 diapers that are too big and have already leaked. No idea where to buy more but will ask Sara tomorrow. We passed by a bakery we’d wanted to try – there are beautiful bakeries here! I grabbed some little cakes for us to take back and have with tea and I spotted some yogurt that seemed unsweetened so bought some for Katie. She sucked back the entire large container of it through a big fat straw and couldn’t have been happier…we’ll be going back tomorrow!

Since we were up so early, we managed some afternoon play time, and dinner (what a concept!).
Every day we see changes in how Katie plays…something new that she is interested in or understands. Today she sat quietly for a long time with the cloth box of toys and instruments playing with each one, removing it, putting it back etc. I showed her how the finer cymbals made the ringing sound. I held one and she grabbed the other and banged hers onto mine to make it ring She also played ball with us. Very consciously rolling to Bibi and then to me. We couldn’t believe it. She also voluntarily shared her cracker with me…kept feeding it to me. It’s so nice when we aren’t busy all day so we can enjoy some quiet play time together. I gave her belly raspberries and got huge giggles. And she still loves to pull the dirty laundry out of the laundry bag She continues to make the most hilarious sounds…now I’m quite sure her Sumo sound is more like a Jimmy Durante impression.

Katie was still awake around 6pm so we tried running downstairs for dinner – none of us had managed a real dinner for days it seemed. We loved what we ordered…especially the doughy red bean pancake thingy dipped in honey…to die for!!! Katie demolished several veggie dumplings and then crashed into a deep sleep the second we got back to the room.

All in all a very wonderful day and now the only official thing left to do is get her visa…wow!!